How Can I Hold

How Can I Hold

music and lyrics by Elaine DiMasi and Rick Mealey

 

step with a bare foot, slide in water

step with a sandal, slide on stones

how can I hold my ground, if the ground won’t hold me?

how can I wind around tree trunks that are fallen down?

how can I ride the rocks and not the tide?

 

how can I—

can I—

can I hold?

 

now with a ski boot, slide in crystal

now with a new boot, twist in holes

how can I go safely down, when the ground won’t hold me?

how can I revolve around stars that won’t enfold me?

how can I ride a universal tide?

 

what if I

take the next step?

 

wanna shed this silken hairshirt and make it disappear

so much hurt to leave but far more pain to stay in here

it’s my birthday

 

every day’s my birthday

 

how can I be trapped in here? I should be outside!

how can I be at bay, is it true or have they lied?

every ounce of fortitude

azimuth and latitude

 

I am clawing at the closed cocoon that’s suffocating me

working at its weakness, one more kick and I’ll be free

it’s my birthday

 

but every day’s my birthday

 

how can I be standing in the same place once again?

how can I be here right now when I was right here then?

spinning round and lashing out,

ain’t that what it’s all about?

 

trapped!

hurt!

truth! at bay!

every ounce of fortitude I

work!

claw!

it’s my Birth Day!

spinning round and lashing out I’m

 

you’re spinning in a web of no design

you’re tangled in white that doesn’t define

any light any star any snow

I know what I see, I don’t see what you know

you’re spinning in a web of no design

you’re strangled in a fight that doesn’t define

fortitude latitude or azimuth

I know what I see, do you not see the truth?

you’re just spinning, see, 

the dizziness is hurting me

 

step—

slide—

how can—

can I—can I—

safely—

safely—

twisted in a hole—

can I—if I—

 

you’re standing still in an empty open space

feet on the ground and a deer-in-headlamp look on your face

fallen trees that decay into earth

I know what I see, do you see what it’s worth?

you’re standing still in an unprotected space

you fear surrender and it radiates all over the place

gravity can only stunt us in our youth

I know what I see, do you not see the truth?

you’re standing still, see,

you’re motionless, it’s hurting me

 

now that’s spinning!

alright, come on, come on, jump in!

it’s spinning too fast!

yeah, well, you gotta MOVE to do it!

slow it down first!

speed up, catch hold! hurry!

you have to slow down!

I can’t go much slower, you gotta speed up!

you’ll break me!

you’ll break me!

but I won’t be the way I was before!

neither will I—that’s the point! hurry!

 

all right!

 

Mother Earth it’s going up

Father Sky it’s coming down

Father Earth it’s

Mother Sky it’s..

 

look!—

 

it’s—

 

you—

 

me—

 

we?—

 

 

we are

 

 

spy champagne colored sky a halo of silver

could this be a birthday?

rise & toast to the skies a halo of crowns

could this be our birthday?

 

upwards on an arc feel like we’re floating

there is something here to hold

there is something there to miss

upwards to an arc of view expanded

see that we’ve been here before

been here but not had this

 

and you — and we —

if it’s all in fog we have to look harder

if it’s all too far we have to reach out

 

doubts they’re learning to climb piling up time

can this be a birthday?

rise to darken the skies a halo of thorns

can this be our birthday?

 

flight describes an arc – up or down?

there’s somewhere here to fall

there’s somewhere there that’s heaven

fright describes we’ve not been here before

won’t be the way we were before

will we, can we, no no

 

and I — and we —

we have to unlearn we have to let go

we have to not be alone we have to take hold

 

floating, climbing on the breeze

catch and hold on the trapeze

hope for one more soft and welcome landing

new perspective on what we were

a map to get us there from here

leap between the facets of a diamond

understanding

understanding

 

and we — and we —

we look harder we look harder

we reach out we reach out

we let go we let go

we hold

 

catch hold

 

take hold

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